Monday, November 20, 2017

Cleopatra's Nose

I've decided to write a play about the Lindsay Shepherd Affair. Only I'm gonna alter the facts a bit. The Graduate Student TA gets hauled before the university tribunal not for showing her tutorial class Peterson's pronoun position but instead for daring to cite Pascal's quip about Cleopatra's Nose in an intro to Hegel class, casting doubt on the progressive march of History, and thereby creating a toxic learning environment. For if History hangs upon such random things as the subjective allure of a woman's nose, then what's the fucking point of trying to understand anything at all, knowing that the Bitch Goddess Fortuna will simply laugh at you regardless?! The Graduate Student TA is accused of targeting Orthodox Believers of the Historical Dialectic.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Some tips for debating a transactivist

When debating a transactivist, do not lose it and blurt out, "Good God, you are fucking insane!" Yes, I know it's tempting, and I have done it myself, more times than I care to admit, but the lunatics will just take that outburst of invective as confirmation that anyone who disagrees with them is an irrational hater. But more importantly, they are used to such invective. It really doesn't hurt them at all. If you really want to get a substantive blow in, then frustrate them with these questions:

"So, can you, please, provide me with a non-circular definition of 'gender identity'?"

"Please, would you explain to me how sexual orientation makes any sense whatsoever on the premise that 'gender identity' and not physiological sex constitutes man- and womanhood?"

"If physiological sex is irrelevant to one's identity as a man or a woman, then why should insurance cover gender confirmation surgery as medical necessities?"

"If the existence of intersex people means that sexual dimorphism is not the norm, does the existence of congenitally legless people mean that bipedality is not the norm, either?"

"If 'men' can now get pregnant, does that mean Gloria Steinem's prophecy has come true, that abortion is now a sacrament?"

"If physicians have the power to assign sex, then have they the power to assign sight to the blind, hearing to the deaf, and the ability to walk to the lame?"

And so on and so forth. Trust me, these questions are much more effective than a "fuck you" or a raised middle finger.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

John Dryden on the Aftermath of the Protestant 'Reformation'

’Tis true, my Friend, (and far be Flattery hence)
This good had full as bad a Consequence:
The Book thus put in every vulgar hand,
Which each presum’d he best cou’d understand,
The Common Rule was made the common Prey;
And at the mercy of the Rabble lay.
The tender Page with horney Fists was gaul’d;
And he was gifted most that loudest baul’d;
The Spirit gave the Doctoral Degree,
And every member of a Company
Was of his Trade and of the Bible free.
Plain Truths enough for needfull use they found;
But men wou’d still be itching to expound;
Each was ambitious of th’ obscurest place,
No measure ta’n from Knowledge, all from GRACE.
Study and Pains were now no more their Care;
Texts were explain’d by Fasting and by Prayer:
This was the Fruit the private Spirit brought;
Occasion’d by great Zeal and little Thought.
While Crouds unlearn’d, with rude Devotion warm,
About the Sacred Viands buz and swarm,
The Fly-blown Text creates a crawling Brood;
And turns to Maggots what was meant for Food.
A Thousand daily Sects rise up, and dye;
A Thousand more the perish’d Race supply:
So all we make of Heavens discover’d Will
Is, not to have it, or to use it ill.
The Danger’s much the same; on several Shelves
If others wreck us or we wreck our selves.
        --from Religio Laici

Thursday, October 26, 2017


J. K. Rowling liked a Radical Feminist piece on Sam Kriss, in which blasphemy was committed against the most sacred doctrine of 'gender identity'. Ms. Rowling has thereby revealed herself to be one of the most vile creatures ever to have thrown itself on the Wrong Side of History, a TERF. There will be a burning of Harry Potter Books tomorrow.

Freudians, do your worst!

Weird dream. I dreamt that I invaded a movie à la The Purple Rose of Cairo, and to gain access to Paul Newman, I promised I would give him five bucks. It worked. I did get access to Paul Newman, and he took the five bucks.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

A Possible Scenario

A twelve-year-old boy joins a Shia Youth Group. At around this time he experiences same-sex attraction. Because he's around Iranian Shia, he's told that he is a girl trapped inside a male body. He tells his parents this. The parents consider themselves stalwart allies of the gay movement and are just horrified that the son insists he is a girl just because he likes boys. But the boy starts wearing a burqa, demands to be called 'Aisha', and clamors for puberty blockers. The parents take him to a therapist in the hope that the boy can be persuaded to like his own body.  Thereupon Social Services come and take the boy away.

Monday, October 16, 2017

The Exorcist, re-written for our times

Psychiatrist: Ms. MacNeil, have you been telling Regan that she should be a girl because she has what's commonly regarded as a girl's body?

Chris MacNeil: What kind of question is that? I'm paying you nearly my life's fortune, and you ask me that?

Psychiatrist: Well, Ms. MacNeil, if you are telling Regan that she--actually, they--should be a girl when they identify as Legion, that could cause a most vehement case of gender dysphoria, and that may well be the cause of all these violent outbreaks.

Chris MacNeil: She's levitating her mahogany bed for God's sake! What the--

Psychiatrist: Yes, that's unusually extreme, admittedly, but when one's identity is grossly misaligned with one's body, very bad things frequently happen. Ms. MacNeil, have you ever asked Regan if they would feel more comfortable, more themselves if they had the body or bodies of Legion?

Chris MacNeil: You want to give her bodies? Plural? How would that even be possible?

Psychiatrist: Calm down, Ms. MacNeil. And you should refer to Legion by their preferred pronouns. That's obviously a big part of the problem.

Chris MacNeil: Am I hearing you right? Regan will stop twisting her head if--

Psychiatrist: Ms. MacNeil, there is no Regan. There never was a Regan. They have always been Legion, and their pronouns are "they, their, and them." The quicker you acknowledge this, the quicker Legion can put their dysphoria behind them. Work with us, Ms. MacNeil.

Chris MacNeil: Oh, fuck you shrinks. You're insane. I'm finding a priest.

Psychiatrist: Well, there's Fr. James Martin, but he'll just refer you back to us.

Chris MacNeil: Then I'll find another who truly cares for my little daughter.

Psychiatrist: There you go again. They are your spawn, not your daughter. You are misgendering them and thereby causing them mental anguish. It's my informed opinion as a licensed physician that you are a clear and present danger to the well-being of Legion, and I regret to say this, but I am obligated now to report you to Social Services.

Chris MacNeil: Go to hell!

Psychiatrist: You can't leave, Ms. MacNeil. The power of Jennifer Pritzker and George Soros compels you!