Thursday, January 28, 2016

What Aquinas would say of today's identity politics

cupiditas significationis suae non perficit naturam, sed tollit.


My cat has refused to share her litter box with this transcat.  Apparently my cat has fallen under the sway of those Fundamentalist Bigots in Houston.  Any suggestions as to how I can get my ciscat to check her cisprivilege?

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Quid multa?

Today I was texting with a friend vacationing in France. He paid me a compliment, and I tried to thank him in Latin, but the perfidious Autocorrect made my "gratias tibi ago" into "gratias tibia ago". Autocorrect has something against Latin, and it is clear to me now that Autocorrect is an anti-Trad, Masonic plot, concocted by the bastard son of that anti-pope, Paul VI, the one with the wrong ears (NOT the one in the iron mask).

Monday, January 25, 2016

Just call me Nostradamus.

Alberta has just proscribed the use of "Mother" and "Father" in its schools.  I predicted this would happen.  True, I did not predict that it would happen in Alberta, but only that it would happen in the not so distant future, and I was right.  This nonsense is the direct result of the nonsense called "marriage equality" which, as I have argued on this weblog before, requires an asexual anthropology.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Obergefell and Due Process

By deciding Obergefell under the due process clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, Justice Kennedy declared the civil recognition of same-sex "marriage" to be a pre-political right. If a right is pre-political, then it can be exercised without government interference. Yet, the "right" to civil recognition of a relationship obviously cannot be exercised without government interference. The central holding of Obergefell rests, therefore, upon a rather blatant logical contradiction. Law is supposed to be rational. The Obergefell decision is fundamentally irrational and, therefore, cannot command any obedience or respect from a rational citizenry.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Note to Black People

The Academy Awards gave Tom Hanks the award for Best Actor two years in a row but never gave it to Peter O'Toole. The Oscars completely snubbed Citizen Kane. Hitchcock never won the Oscar for Best Director. And Kenneth Branagh's non-adaptation of Shakespeare's Hamlet was nominated for best-adapted screenplay. The Oscars are really silly. To get upset that the Oscars have not validated you is even sillier.

What if Descartes had been a couch potato?

Evil Demon: Two plus three is really five.

Descartes: Whatever you say, dear. Could you get me a beer while you're up?

Congruo, ergo sum!

If reality is all a social construction, then would that mean that non-conformity is non-Being?

Mother's Day (again)

Can someone, please, explain to me why the celebration of mother's day is NOT heterosexist bigotry now that "marriage equality" is now the law of the land? One of the main premises of "marriage equality" is that same-sex couples raise kids just as well as opposite-sex couples do. If that were not the case, then the state would have a good reason to treat opposite-sex couples differently from same-sex couples, but we all know that the only reasons for so doing are all bad, bigoted, and belial. Therefore, same-sex couples MUST be every bit as good at raising children as opposite-sex couples. And that means that the sex of parents cannot matter. At all. For to say that it does matter is to say that same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples are different and, therefore, not equal, and only really depraved, sadistic Nazis would say something so unspeakably EVIL. So, if you accept "marriage equality", you must say that parenting is an entirely asexual, genderless enterprise. You must assent to the notion that sex is UTTERLY and COMPLETELY irrelevant to parenting. But Mother's Day celebrates the particular sex of a parent under the assumption that the sex of the parent does indeed matter and thereby blasphemes against the Equality Dogma of Parental Asexuality. How is that NOT vile, disgusting, perverted, totally depraved and unregenerate heterosexist BIGOTRY?!

Monday, January 18, 2016

I know this is so 2004

But I refuse categorically to vote for any political candidate who supports legalized abortion.  But, then again, I've pretty much given up on voting altogether.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Tough Love

"Oh, I finally, finally have time to see Star Wars this weekend. It's been hard avoiding all discussions of the movie on tv and social media. But I've done it, and now I'll see Star Wars wide-eyed and bushy-tailed."

"Hans Solo is murdered by his own son."

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Star Wars VII

Against my better judgment I saw it tonight, and my Better Judgment was right.  Vapid script, vapid plot (pretty much the same as in the 1977 Film), characters so vapid that when they die you count them lucky that they don't have to endure another sequel.  Even the special effects were hardly an advance over the laser and noise spectacle of the Initial Film.  The one good thing about the new Star Wars is that J. J. Abrams was wise enough not to let Mark Hamill act.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Ted Cruz

A man with a nasal voice and an accipitrine nose should be auditioning for the rôle of a Nazi in a Spielberg adventure film and not running for president of the United States of America.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

I probably should not have found this joke funny, but I did. I am going to hell.

I probably should not have found this joke funny, but I did. I am going to hell.

The pope is in his flat, consulting with two German Priests when in come two French Archeologists. "Sorry, your Holiness, for bursting in this way," they said, "but we have incredible news that just can't wait." The Pope rises to his feet and says, "Tell me then." "Well, we finally found the Holy Sepulchre!"

"That's great," exclaims the Pope. "But there is some bad news," the French hasten to add, "there was a body in it. The Resurrection never happened." Upon hearing this the Pope faints.

The two German priests give one another bemused looks. One says to the other, "Interesting, this means that Jesus could have been a real person."

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Stink bugs

Anyone know how to get rid of them?  They are driving me insane.

Monday, January 11, 2016

And one more post

Just because I am triskaidekaphobic.  Good night.

The Flick by Annie Baker

When will I ever learn? I should know by now that the Pulitzer Prize for Drama might as well be a Razzie Award for really dumb plays. Proof won the Pulitzer, a play in which the protagonist learns that whereas a mathematical conjecture requires proof, love requires trust. Wow! Hallmark cards have the same level of wisdom at a cheaper price. August Osage County won a Pulitzer. That had a real shocking incest revelation! Well, fine, it's heartening to know that playwrights still think their jaded audiences in this age of sexual anarchy will be shocked by incest, but in the history of drama, incest revelations are a hackneyed trope and in the 2,500 years since Sophocles have long since become a hallmark of very lazy writing.

And now The Flick, a play about three people doing minimum wage work at a Movie Theatre with its heyday long gone. It's one of the last theatres with just one screen and one of the last, if not the last, to have not yet switched over to a digital projector. And, so, there's a lot of stuff in the play about how film is superior to digital, and, yeah, that's somewhat interesting. And one of the characters is a closeted gay, which is a tad unbelievable given that the play is set in Massachusetts (and not in, say, Alabama), but it's just more boring than unbelievable. Fortunately, the play devotes only one scene to this young man's sexual hang ups. Deo gratias! Most of the play is a litany of slaps at moviegoer slobs, you know, the people who spill soda and popcorn all over the aisles or who bring even messier food in the theatre like, say, burritos, etc. Such jokes are funny for maybe five minutes, but this play makes the violations of moviegoing etiquette into a fullblown existential crisis. If the message is that minimum wage workers have petty concerns, well, this is just insulting.

But the real drama in the play comes when the closeted gay guy is caught stealing money from the theatre. His co-workers were in on the scam, too, but he does not rat them out. Instead, he wants them to admit their guilt, and if they do, perhaps the owner will realize that, well, damn, he's just not paying his workers a livable wage, have mercy, and not fire any of them. The two co-workers are too fearful of losing their only livelihood to take a brave stand of solidarity. They would rather the gay guy, who is in college on a full ride and is, they assume, just doing this job for pocket money, take the fall all by himself. Well, hell, I can sympathize with that sort of reasoning. Yeah, it's cowardly, pusillanimous, and demeaning to our common humanity, but that's what the brutal logic of capitalism does to folks. And if that was the message of this play, and I am not quite sure it was--the play seems to want us to be appalled by the co-worker's petty cravenness--, a guy like Karl Marx and others have made this point more powerfully and, moreover, with the urgent rallying cry that if a system like capitalism destroys our human solidarity, then, well, we should destroy capitalism. All this play will move people to do is, maybe, have a quaint pseudo-intellectual chat about it over coffee, served by an underpaid barista.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

What if liberal societies operated upon a Nietzschean conception of harm?

Man: Police! Police!

Cop: Yes, what is it?

Man: I just got carjacked. A really big guy wearing a blue sweatshirt dragged me out of my car, beat me within an inch of my life, and took my wallet. I had three hundred dollars in that wallet, plus my id and my credit cards.

Cop: Well, what do you want me to do? We're free to do whatever we want as long as we don't harm anyone else. That's the bedrock principle of liberalism.

Man: What the...? He robbed me. He beat me up. Do you see the big bloody gash on my forehead?!

Cop: He didn't kill you. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. He did you a favor, you resentful little tarantula!

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Ahmed, the wedding is tonight

This is a coded message. It contains sensitive, classified information that, if de-coded by the wrong people, could bring down the entire Military Industrial Complex:


Friday, January 8, 2016

We're serving our sentences, Mr. Kennedy!

Last night I had dinner with a fellow bachelor. Being a good law-abiding Teuton, I was obliged to tell him that this relational act is not recognized by the state and, therefore, per Kennedy's dicta in Obergefell can in no way mitigate our respective condemnations to loneliness.

No, I shan't let this go.  Obergefell is probably the dumbest Supreme Court Decision of all time, and I intend to mock it at every opportunity.  

Thursday, January 7, 2016

How many repressed people does it take to open a jar?

Three: One to hold the jar, and two to remind him of his childhood insecurities until he finally releases all his pent-up frustrations.

My Solution to the Bathroom Wars

Anyone who wants to blather about sports and tell dirty jokes, use the cismen restroom. Anyone who wants to gossip, use the ciswomen restroom. Anyone who wants to talk about how the recent season of "Transparent" "gets it", use the transwomen restroom for seniors. Anyone who wants an orgy, use the genderfluid restroom. Is there anyone I have not offended?

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Judge Roy Moore

Yes, he is showing contempt for the United States Supreme Court.  The United States Supreme Court deserves contempt.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Wait a minute!

Isn't the very notion of causality a 'comprehensive doctrine' by Rawlsian lights and as such a violation of liberty neutrality?!

Monday, January 4, 2016

Felix Culpa

You know you got a bad case of Original Sin when you prefer the dialectic to its outcome.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Remember, kiddies!

If a heterosexual mistakes a homosexual for a heterosexual, that's bigotry.  If a homosexual mistakes a heterosexual for a homosexual, that's a compliment.  Got that?

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Why I'm a Political Nihilist

Liberalism ultimately undermines its own premises.
Libertarianism leads to Mafia Rule.
Socialism leads to the Gulag.
Republicanism leads to the Terror.
And Neoliberal, Consumerist Democracy leads to Couch Potatoes, who
  can talk only about "the game".

Friday, January 1, 2016

A Possible Scenario

A woman has a crush on a guy but to her dismay discovers that he is gay.  So, the woman says that she is a man.  The guy still resists the former woman's overtures, and so the transman charges the gay guy with having committed discriminatory transphobia before the New York City Commission on Human [sic] Rights.

Try this

If you want to know how stupid cops are, just ask one of them this question: if the law declared two plus two to be five, would it be right to disobey that law and wrong to enforce it? Most cops, I swear to God, will say that there will always be laws that strike some of us as unreasonable but just because a law may strike us as unreasonable is no justification for disobeying that law. As if basic arithmetic were subjective! Cops are really stupid thugs.