Friday, October 23, 2015

Yes, I know that I am a broken record, but...

Dear Enlightenistas,

Please, pretty please, tell me why it is a species of religious extremism to think it absurd for two people of the same sex to be listed on a BIRTH certificate. I know that such thinking must be religious extremism because only a religious extremist would ever object to anything that “marriage equality” demands and requires. But, benighted bigot that I am, I would have thought that listing two people of the same sex on a birth certificate is lunacy not because extremist, subliterate Bible-Thumpers say so but instead because rudimentary human biology says that it is impossible for two people of the same sex to make a baby. But what do I know? I’m just a know-nothing religious extremist. So, please, Ye Keepers of the Enlightenment Spark and Champions against the Kingdom of Darknesse, would you explain to me why rudimentary human biology is really just Biblical superstition? Pretty please? Oh, and remember not to use big, fancy words. I am a stupid bigot, remember? So, keep the vocabulary to a Dick and Jane level. Thanks.



p.s.  Dick and Jane is heterosexist.  Sorry.  I should have written, "keep it to a Dick and Dick level."  I have the utmost confidence that you'll do just that.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Woo hoo!

Robert Zemeckis is a false prophet.  The Billy Goat still is not satisfied.  The Cubs are still perpetual losers,  and saying "1908" to anyone from Chicago still retains its power to humiliate.  All is still (nearly) right with the world.

Now if we can just overturn Obergefell...

Monday, October 19, 2015

The Right Side of History

Is the Right Side of History right because it is right or because History says that it is right?  If the former, then History is completely irrelevant in the determination of whatever its right side may be, and if the latter, then History is simply a whimsical tyrant.  History may determine that today same-sex "marriage" is its right side and tomorrow homophobia is and, perhaps, next month Ethnic Cleansing.  Right simply is at the mercy of Historical Happenstance.

Note to the lunatics:  Replacing God with History does not escape the Euthyphro Dilemma.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Forgive this outburst of completely irrational, commercialized, utterly mindless nativism, but...


(Of course, if the Cubs do go on to the World Series and win it, then we might be witness to the Greatest Miracle since the Resurrection:  George Will might actually smile.)

Monday, October 12, 2015

One conundrum away from nihilistic despair

This past week-end I may have given a young idealist an existential crisis by asking him what moral vegetarians (those who are vegetarian for moral and not primarily for health reasons) feed their cats.  He did not have a satisfactory answer and added that this conundrum would pre-occupy his thoughts for the rest of the day.  He was audibly in awe of this moral dilemma when I left him to corrupt others with aporias.  Call me Mr. Aporia.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Best one sentence movie review ever

"I could've had 2 lattes instead."

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Hey, Enlightenistas, please, answer this question

Am I bigot for being glad that I was raised by a man and a woman and not by two women or two men?

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Gender Theory explained in less than three minutes

My (rough) translation:

Are boys and girls the same? Not when you look at them. Girls and boys are not the same. They are different when they are little. And the older they get, the more pronounced this difference becomes. Above all they are in their natures very different. Some people claim that boys and girls are different not because they have different bodies but because their parents, families, society, schools, and everyone else construct this difference. Girls are girls simply because they are raised to be girls. Boys are boys simply because they are raised to be boys. And because they are raised differently, they are not the same. This is a problem for the gender ideologue.

For these merely acquired differences later on will hinder gender equality. How is this problem to be solved? By erasing the differences between boys and girls, thereby making them completely the same.

Therefore, the parents, the family, and society should stop trying to make boys into boys and girls into girls. But the parents, the family, and society do not understand why sexual difference should be eliminated. Therefore, this goal must be realized in the schools. In the schools, far away from the parents, children can without hindrance be taught to confound everything that is typical for boys with what is typical for girls and vice versa. Of course, Daddy can wear a dress and lipstick. Of course, a girl can swear like a trucker. And, of course, a baby can have two mommies or two daddies because the sex of parents does not matter.

In the classroom everything that is masculine and feminine is all simply mixed together, and when everything is mixed together, everything is the same, and when everything is the same, then we finally have total equality!

But… How can I be sure if I am really a boy? When everyone acts as if everything is the same, then a boy no longer knows if he’s really a boy, and a girl no longer knows if she is a girl. Has the problem of inequality been solved? No. We’ve created a new problem. We’ve confused the children.

We do not want any school to confuse children. We want our children to learn reading, writing, and arithmetic. We want schools in which our children can learn about our culture and history and develop critical thinking. Let girls be girls, and let boys be boys.

A question for liberal church-going Catholics

As you probably know, Jesus Christ in the Gospel Reading this past Sunday (Mark 10:2-16) unequivocally defined marriage as the union of a man and a woman.  Now, I know that you Progressive Catholics are fond of claiming that Christ said absolutely NOTHING about homosexuality or homosexual relationships.  But you may also know that court decision after court decision has established beyond any reasonable debate that such a definition of marriage is utterly irrational, that the only motive to define marriage according to sexual difference is animus against gays and lesbians, is to exclude them from the institution of marriage and thereby to condemn them to lives of intolerable loneliness and despair.  So, if you accept these court decisions, and you do, then you must abandon the claim that Christ said NOTHING about homosexual relationship for in defining marriage heterosexually, He was (according to the Obergefell decision in particular)  condemning gays and Lesbians to loneliness.

There is this additional dilemma: you liberal Catholics profess to have a Faith that neither contradicts reason nor is hateful.  And yet Christ, the very reason you are Catholics, taught a definition of marriage that is completely irrational and hateful.  So, my question to you is this:  Why do you continue to profess to worship an irrational bigot?

Sunday, October 4, 2015

A rarity. Two jokes told in a homily that were actually funny instead of merely cute

The first one was a more chaste version of this joke.  The second one was this:  "The shortest sentence in the English Language is 'I am', the longest is 'I do.'"

The rest of the homily was a rather safe laundry list on what makes for a good, holy, pious marriage.  No mention at all about Christ's shocking heterosexist bigotry.  Not even an attempt to scrounge up archeological evidence that Christ could not have been anti-gay because he granted audiences to longtime gay friends from his high school days.

Federico Lombardi, call your office.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

I really hate the U.S.A.

Any country that has de-sexed marriage has become a loony bin, and I really don't want to live in a loony bin.   If I get enough money, I am going to emigrate.  I hate this damn country.  The United States of America can go fuck itself!