Thursday, August 29, 2013


Infer does not mean "imply".  We have a perfectly good word for "imply", and it's "imply".  Inferring is not "implying", rather it is the unpacking of what is implied.  "Implying" and "inferring" are NOT synonyms, people, they are opposites like "giving" and "receiving."  And I don't care what the New Dictionaries say.  The New Dictionaries are merely detailing our ever accelerating descent into babble.  If you wish to slow down that descent a bit, then do NOT use "infer" when you mean "imply".  Got that?  I hope so.


Living alone in the woods has driven me batty.  So batty, in fact, that I just ordered a copy of Sein und Zeit.  For all I have now is my own being and time.  I might as well read up on what the fuck that means, if anything.

Solitary confinement makes for really bad philosophy.  If Descartes had partied more, maybe, just maybe we would have been spared the lonely individualism that has since become the hallmark of Modernity.  Maybe.

Thursday, August 22, 2013


I bet the person who ordered all those "Pardon Bradley" T-Shirts is really pissed now.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

A friendly message to my Latvian Readership

I was joking when I wrote that I would not marrying Amanda Bynes.  Actually, I should not have written that at all.  It was worse than a bad joke because it wasn't a joke at all.  It was simply quite stupid.  My only consolation is that no one is reading this weblog except really bored Latvians, whom I will never ever meet and in front of whom, therefore, I shall never ever be embarrassed for the really boneheaded things I write here.

So, let me say something that's really boneheaded.  Even though I do not want to marry Ms. Bynes, there is some other young Hollywood Star, who would not bother pissing on me if she saw me on fire, whom I very much would like to marry, Aubrey Plaza.  I love her.  Why?  She's lovely.  She's smart.  She has yet to be committed to a psych ward, and she played Daria Morgendorffer in a fake trailer (that should be made into a feature-length film, if, that is, there is any justice in this sick, sad world, but, then again, as Ms. Morgendorffer herself would say, there is no justice in this sick, sad world).

I've had a crush on Ms. Morgendorffer since 1997.  A cartoon character.  Not only that, a cartoon character who is underage.  She reaches majority at the end of the series, to be sure, but that still makes me sick and sad.

But, then again, in the trailer Ms. Plaza's Ms. Morgendorffer is 28.

Latvians, you really must be really, really bored.

Friday, August 16, 2013

The logical consequences of "marriage equality"

(Nota bene: "Marriage equality" is really part and parcel of a larger goal, that of "orientation equality".)

All parenthood becomes a legal fiction. If same-sex couples must adopt to have children, then heterosexual couples must as well. Anything else is invidious discrimination and, thus, wholly repugnant to Public Reason.

The scrapping of Paternity Laws. If homosexuals can enjoy a one night stand without fear of a Paternity Suit, then heterosexual men must be able to as well.

The scrapping or (at the very least) the re-definition of the concept of adultery. If adultery is understood as having coitus with someone other than your spouse, then this can obviously only apply to people in opposite-sex marriages [sic] and thus discriminates against people in same-sex "marriages". So, either the concept of adultery must be scrapped or re-defined to mean "engaging in any act of intimacy with someone other than your spouse". Given that the infinity of fetishes and the intensity of feeling that accompanies them, a married dacryphiliac could commit adultery simply by commiserating a friend at a funeral. And an act of intimacy does not necessarily aim at an orgasm. It could simply be spending time away from your spouse with friends, playing rummy. Therefore, my father (God rest his soul!) committed adultery with his rummy partners.

The end of sexual segregated bathrooms and lockerrooms. If heterosexuals feel awkward doing very private stuff in the presence of people who are not their intimate partners, homosexuals do as well. Yet, heterosexual awkwardness is considered whereas its homosexual counterpart is not. Conclusion: Sexually segregated bathrooms and lockerrooms are invidiously discriminatory and as such are wholly repugnant to Public Reason.

I'll think of more later. Feel free to add to the list.

Latvia? Why?

According to the Blogger Stats, I got 32 views from Latvia.  Hardly bestseller status, but my Latvian Readership is, nonetheless, increasing.  Exponentially, in fact.  Why Latvia?  I really have no clue.  Is it some NSA device, merely using a Latvian ISP address as cover?

Maybe I'll get answers when I am sent to Gitmo.

The equality of "can" and "want"

The rallying cry of sexual equality:

"I can do everything you can do, only better!"

The rallying cry of orientation equality:

"I can do everything you can do but really don't want to. What I want to do is really practically the same as what you do (even though it really isn't), and therefore what I do should be treated equally with what you do (except when it comes to Paternity Laws)."

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

One More Try

I repeat for the zillionth time that my argument against same-sex "marriage" IN NO WAY depends upon the moral disapproval of what same-sex couples do to express intimacy. Neither does it depend on the claim that acts of intimacy between same-sex couples are somehow unnatural. My argument against ss'm' rests entirely on the claim that because coitus alone among the myriad acts of intimacy can and very often does have a quite noticeable public consequence, the state has an obviously compelling interest in encouraging its responsible use and discouraging its irresponsible use, whereas the interest the state has in encouraging the responsible use of other acts of intimacy such as holding hands, frottage, really deep conversations about Proust is at best not obvious and hardly compelling.

How this makes me a bigot as vile as a racist or an anti-Semite, I don't know. How this puts me in the same basket with the polygenecists and eugenecists who opposed interracial marriage, I do not know. How this puts me in the same class as the religious extremists who call for the slaughter of infidels, I do not know

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Who said Straub's was a bit pricey?

This is .89 of a pound of Missouri Grassfed Ribeye Steak bought at Straub's in the CWE on August 12, 2013.

Friday, August 9, 2013

King Lear, re-written for our times

Lear: Goneril, how much do you love me?

Goneril: I love you so much, my liege, that your government should let us file our taxes jointly. 

Lear: And, Regan, how much do you love me?

Regan: Not only does my love for you rightfully deserve a  joint tax-filing, my liege, it deserves all the other 1,138 benefits as well right down to the special benefits for Widows of the Spanish-American War.

Lear: And, Cordelia, my dearest fool, how much do you love me?

Cordelia: I am, my liege, at a loss to know how one measures love in terms of legal and financial benefits and so choose to say nothing.

Lear: Bigot!

Another Random Thought

I would really like to marry Aubrey Plaza, though.  But that's not gonna happen, either.

Random Thought

I would not mind marrying Amanda Bynes.