Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Happy Holidays!

Person 1: Hey, happy holidays!

Person 2: What did you just say?

1: I wished you happy holidays.

2: Yeah, look, did you know that "holiday" comes from "holy day"?

1: No, I did not. I guess you learn something every day.

2. I'm an atheist, bud. I don't believe that some days are holy and others are not. In fact, I don't believe in the notion of "holy" at all. So, please, keep your religion to yourself.

1. Sorry. I was just trying to be nice.

2. Well, yeah, that's what all you religious zealots say. And then next thing you know, you'll be demanding that I wear a burka. Well, fuck you.

1. You're not even a woman.

2. How do you know? Because I don't conform to what your superstition tells you a woman should look like? The nerve of you people!

1. Geez. I'm sorry. I truly am.

2. Next time think a little more.

1. Fine, Happy Existentialist Engagement!

2. That's the Old Atheism! Excuse me, but I'm a New Atheist who believes that Science gives us our moral code and not some irrational decisionism. Hello!

1. Oh, crap!

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