Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Yet another letter the Post-Dispatch most likely will not print

Dear Editor,

now that same-sex “marriage” is the law of the land, I am curious to know what constitutes bigotry. It is, of course, bigotry to think that marriage is the union of a man and a woman. Such claims of heterosexual supremacy are as bigoted as racism or anti-Semitism. You’d have to have been living under a rock for a good decade not to know this. But are there subsidiary bigotries as well that just might require an overhaul of how we think and speak?

For instance, “marriage equality” presupposes an equality between same-sex and opposite-sex parents. That must mean that the sex of parents cannot matter, that being raised by two men or two women is every bit as good as being raised by a man and a woman. That being the case, the notion that it is important to have a mom and a dad will cause you to look askance at same-sex couples raising children, and that is certainly bigotry, is it not?

In fact, the very use of "mom" and "dad" suggests that the sex of parents is important when it clearly is not. So, should we avoid those words if we want to avoid homophobic bigotry?

If sex doesn't matter at all to be a parent, then when does it matter? Obviously, it matters for human reproduction and for private adult desire, but that’s it. Should we then confine our notions of motherhood and fatherhood to surrogacy and seed donation respectively? And should we refrain from using gendered pronouns in public because gender identification matters only for desires which should be kept private?

Inquiring minds want to know.

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