Monday, April 21, 2014

An Idea for a Seminal Work of Existentialist Fiction

Mersault receives word that his Parent A died today. Mersault looks at the message and concludes that it could have been yesterday.

He attends the funeral of Parent A. Not only is his lack of any outward grief noticeable, the other attendees are positively shocked that he slurps down a Cherry Coke and munches on a Burrito as he passes the casket.

That evening his friend Raymond enlists him in a plan to take revenge on a Lesbian Gang who wooed Raymond's girlfriend from him. They go to a Lesbian Bar and confront the Gang. In the subsequent melee Mersault is tackled by a Stocky Butch Lesbian. While pinned on the floor Mersault manages to get out his switch blade and stabs his attacker in the back, whereupon she rolls off him. Mersault gets up, stands over her, and then proceeds to stab her about ten or fifteen times until she breathes her last and dies. Mersault would later say that he was bothered by the heat and the stench of really stale beer.

Mersault is arrested and charged with a hate crime. At the trial the prosecutor to establish Mersault's homophobia tells the jury that he never liked being raised by two men. That when his Parent A died, he did not so much as muster a sniffle or a sigh. He just stood by the Casket, eating Taco Bell. Mersault tells the Jury that the only parent he ever knew died when he was a kid and that Parent A, his father's husband, was never his parent. He always wondered where his mother was. Thereupon the prosecutor exclaims, "You have heard it yourselves, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury. That man is a soulless homophobic monster!" The Jury takes only five minutes to convict Mersault and sentences him to a public disembowelment.

The night before his execution, Mersault lies awake on his cot and stares at the concrete ceiling. He contemplates the universe and concludes that it is indifferent to his fate, but benignly so. Knowing this will give him great comfort when the spectators of his execution tomorrow greet him with cries of hate. And then he sleeps like a baby.

No comments: