I am a Godfather. Even though I never even met my Goddaughter. I was not even present at her baptism. I was the Godfather by proxy. Or so I was told.
Anyway, needless to say, I am a lousy Godfather. I never communicated with my Goddaughter, did not send her even one Birthday Card. The only thing I ever heard about her was her marriage to a Protestant, whose father was a Protestant Minister and in that capacity officiated at their wedding. The father pronounced 'asunder' as two words.
Not only did my Goddaughter marry into a Protestant Family, she married into a particularly stupid one.
Like I said, I am a lousy Godfather.
There's an absurdist play here somewhere.