Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Modern Love 2

Scene: A Bar in Massachusetts

Man: Hey, babe.

Woman: (flashes her ring)

Man: Yeah, so?

Woman: Geez, you're dense! I am married, sleezeball.

Man: Yeah, I know, what does that have to do with anything?

Woman: Oh my Gawd! Don't you know that marriage is the voluntary union of two persons as spouses, to the exclusion of all others?

Man: And you think that this definition means that we should not boink?

Woman: Well, duh!

Man: Well, first of all, the "others" in that definition does not refer to "unions", it refers to "spouses" as in "to the exclusions of all other spouses". I don't want to become your spouse. I just wanna fuck you. Second, that definition isn't intended to spell out all the rights and responsibilities of said spouses and, therefore, says nothing about and, hence, is utterly indifferent to our doing the horizontal nasty. I therefore can conclude only that your reading of the definition is blindingly stupid and as such has nothing to do with us right now.

Woman: (Throws her drink in the man's face and stomps out.)

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