Monday, July 28, 2008

MySpace is for idiots (Shocker!)

This is a primer for political idiots. If you are not a political idiot, then you don't have to read this. If you are a political idiot, then take a remedial reading course first and then read this:

I obviously have insomnia. When I am up during the small hours of the morn, I tend to be more listless than is my wont, and that's when I do really stupid things like, say, watch really crappy slasher films, re-runs of The Girls Next Door on E!, and read the top political weblog posts on MySpace. Well, today, the number one political weblog post is yet again a know-nothing rant against Barack Obama, written by someone too idiotic even to be on Fox News. Well, I take that back. He's probably not on Fox News only because he is too ugly and fat.

Anyway, this guy calls Mr. Obama a socialist, presumably because he wants to raise taxes, and one who will surrender to terrorists because, well, because of his middle name. This guy is 55. Why doesn't he to devote his time to preying on impressionable, subliterate teenyboppers like every other normal middle-aged moron on MySpace and spare insomniacs like me his ignorant drivel? If Obama were a socialist, he would at the very least be advocating a single-payer health system and not have economic advisors only slightly left of Milton Friedman.

If all socialism is is the imposition of higher taxes, then this country was suffering big time under the hammer and sickle during the Fifties and Early Sixties when the tax rate for businesses was as high as ninety percent! But we weren't. We had a thriving manufacturing base (unlike now). We had solid economic growth (unlike now), which, was, by the way, fairly equitably distributed--compared to what's happening now, at least. If that was socialism, then we Americans made it work and because we are Americans, apparently the New Chosen People, we can make it work again and perhaps we should. It is very odd, though, that when this country was supposedly commie pinko, we were playing nuclear chicken with the other commie pinkos in Russia.

The only speech on the economy by Mr. Obama I've read is his address at Cooper Union. Does he call for the workers of the world to take control of the means of production? No. Does he call for a centralized command economy? No. Does he even decry the exorbitant deals that CEOs get for destroying jobs? No, not even that. He simply calls for what even The Wall Street Journal has called for, greater regulation of the financial markets, which now are pretty much licentious casinos these days, gambling with everything from our homes to our food. If the good old conservative values of the American Soul consist in wanton endangerment of what keeps us sheltered and nourished, then, by all means, give me godless communism or at least pack me off to socialist France.

As to the claim that Mr. Obama wants to surrender to the Muslim Barbarians at the Gate, this is just silly. He has time and again shown that he does indeed have neo-con chest hair by declaring his willingness to bomb the towelheads in Pakistan. Far from denouncing the central principle of the so-called War on Terror, the doctrine of pre-emption, he has emphatically endorsed it, and this means the U.S. under an Obama Presidency will continue to give the middle finger to the U.N.--the shrill assertions of today's top MySpace political blogger to the contrary. The U.N. Charter, to which the U.S. is a signatory, was written specifically to outlaw the Hitlerian principle of the Doctrine of Pre-emption. So, if you patriotic Fox News Gawkers and Hannity Idolaters want paranoid pre-emptive strikes that blow up real good, then Mr. Obama will give them to you. You're just angry that he probably won't do as many explosions as Mr. McCain promises.

Fuck, I've wasted more than ninety minutes on this post. And probably to no avail. If that top MySpace political blogger does chance to read this, he'll probably dismiss me as a card-carrying member of the Marxist Liberal Conspiracy that is responsible for putting salt peter in the water supply and jacking up his cable bill. Yeah, well, I don't know why I write about politics, anyway. I am not going to vote. I have far more important things to do such as, say, masturbate. I take that back. That's a mortal sin, and evidently I already did it with this post. Now I must confess. Nevermind.

Oh, that this guy commands a big readership on MySpace shows conclusively that MySpace is still almost exclusively for juveniles.

No comments: