Wednesday, June 25, 2008

My Protestant Stalker

A few days ago I noticed that my protestant stalker had subscribed to the MySpace version of this weblog. I guess I should welcome him then even though I hate his guts. He grew up Catholic and then defected to the state religion of England, the country that disembowled Jesuits simply for celebrating Mass. That's kinda like a Jew becoming a skinhead. Of course, this guy would throw the Inquisition and the Crusades up in my face and pointedly tell me that I am in a very fragile glass house.

But this would miss the point. I could very well understand a Cathar, say, feeling betrayed by a fellow Cathar who converted to Rome. (The Cathars were, for those who don't know, victims of a very bloody Catholic Crusade. They were also extreme, whacko gnostics who condemned marriage and pregnancy. They also practiced ritual suicides. They were the Heaven's Gate Cult of the Middle Ages, but that may just be Romanist Propaganda.) Being a Catholic means being part of a family, and my Protestant Stalker has betrayed this family. Maybe the family is a bunch of evil gangsters. Fine, I am still a part of this family and, therefore, loyal to it. He has shown himself disloyal to it, and I have no choice but to understand him as traitor.

Anyway, I call him my Protestant Stalker because he won't let up trying to seduce me away from my family and into the arms of his Erastian Heresy. Erastianism is the subordination of Church to State, and Anglicanism had its genesis in the fiat of a tyrant, Henry VIII, and is thereby the textbook example of Erastianism. I'd like to think that he stalks me because of a nagging guilt, and guilt loves company. Perhaps, he thinks he'll feel better if I join him on his journey to hell. He'd say I am just flattering myself. Fine.

Of course, if this Protestant Stalker were a lithe, nubile woman half my age, I would perhaps be less insistent upon loyalty and doctrine. Then again, my dear mother (God rest her soul!) forbade me from marrying any Protestant, and I dare not disobey my mother. But my mother did not want me smoking, and I love smoking. But my mother smoked. She only dated a Protestant. She made him convert before she married him.

By the way, my father is a very disappointed convert. After having heard "Amazing Grace" at a mass once, he told me with a very heavy sigh, "And I thought I left this crap when I left Protestantism."

But back to my Protestant Stalker. He lives in the United States of America but is not Episcopalian. No, he's one of those so outraged by the consecration of the openly gay Eugene Robinson that he joined an Anglican Church overseen by some stalwartly anti-gay African "Bishop". He's now secure in the bosom of the authentic old time religion!

Of course, it should be noted that it is rather odd that these New anti-Episopalian Anglicans are making the refusal to accept the homosexual lifestyle as the sine qua non of Christian orthodoxy. No one in the Anglican Communion thundered about schism when the Lambeth Conference approved contraception and thereby gave its blessing to deliberate sterility in the sex act. Once you do that, you have no objection at all to the gay lifestyle. This point has been made by none other than Rowan Williams, the so-called "Archbishop" of Canterbury. Of course, Anglicans are under no obligation to follow their acknowledged primate even when he happens to be logically consistent.

I shouldn't be too hard on the guy, though. He does have the right position on Rapture Theology, meaning that he thinks that it is dangerously raving lunacy. And he agrees with Ralph Nader that the Israelis have become Nazis. He may even agree that Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and their neo-con minions are war criminals. So, it's quite possible that he has a brain. If he does, he may someday come to realize what the English have known at least since Newman, that Anglicanism is a joke.

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