Saturday, April 12, 2008

My tribute to our brave Freedom Fighters

I would like to add a few more comparisons to this oft-seen piece intended to guilt the reader into supporting our imperialistic foreign policy:

You enjoy a threesome with Bella Donna and the ever so buff Evan Stone. He has to make a pyramid of greasy, stinky, naked Iraqi men masturbate.

You walk into a nice, swanky singles bar and walk out with willing and well-dressed pussy. He has to rape teenage girls in birkas to satisfy his needs.

You kill seventeen people on a whim and at least achieve fame as a serial killer. He kills seventeen people for fun and must endure rude questions from some snotty commie pinko Chomskyite

You terminate a pregnancy with a simple swallow of a pill. He has to terminate one by shooting a frantic young pregnant woman dead.

You see a cute, little ten-year-old girl waving and wave back. He sees a ten-year-old girl waving but--paranoid, trigger-happy cowboy that he has been trained to be--can think only that she is signaling freedom-hating terrorists hellbent upon establishing a global islamofascist Caliphate and subordinating us all to an enslaving dhimmitude, and, therefore, kills her.

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