Saturday, April 26, 2008

I am voting for McCain. I was WRONG about the war. LET'S DEFEND FREEDOM!!!!

Yes, the Iraq War is truly a defence of freedom, after all. Not only that, we had to invade Iraq to prevent another 9/11. So, all those people who have maintained that Iraq is simply about oil and has made the world more and not less vulnerable to acts of terror are just wrong, very wrong. I was wrong, and now I have seen the light. I once was lost, etc.

So, why this switcheroo? Well, I was going to reply to this prolix defence of our invasion of Iraq, but when I finally finished reading it, I happed upon this. That column was much shorter, better written, and much more persuasive. ThE prolix defence of the invasion was hardly persuasive. We should bomb the hell of the country because the U.N. needs to be credible, and it won't be credible unless it has its resolutions enforced? That's more or less the nub of prolix guy's argument, and any Palestinian would notice that not once in those 14 single-spaced pages does prolix guy mention that many other U.N. Resolutions, especially those regarding Israel, have gone unenforced if not utterly ignored, most notably #242. And that's not the only thing that goes unmentioned. Prolix Guy has many words to spare for the infallibility of Resolution 1441, but nothing for the scaremongering lies about the imminent mushroom cloud coming from Iraq, Cheney's fantasies about the Praque meeting between Atta and an Iraq Agent, Powell's demonstrably wrong inferences from satelite photos, Blair's risible claim that Iraq could attack England in 45 minutes, the Downing Street Memo, "Curveball", Judith Miller's creative fiction, et cetera et cetera. Prolix guy is just delusional, and his argument is as selective as the cherrypicking of our National Intelligence Reports.

But Mr. Kinzer made me change my mind. He makes the rather clever observation that because the U.S. is bogged down in Iraq, it can no longer tyrannize Latin America. The people there can determine their own lives without fear of intervention from the United States. This will be true as long as our occupation of Iraq continues. Since it won't end until victory is reached, and victory is defined as the establishment of a stable Iraq allied with us in the global war on terror, the occupation will last for John McCain's century unless we mow down all those millions of Iraqis who support State-Department-deemed terrorist organizations like Hezbollah and Hamas. The American Empire is evil, but I don't think it has the stomach for outright Nazi-like genocide. That would be too much of a PR debacle. So, we're gonna try and kill them off by the attrition of gross misrule. As long as we're doing that, Latin America will be free at last!

Thus, we are fighting for freedom after all, just not ours. And we are also preventing another 9/11 for we do not any longer have enough troops to engineer a Latin American Coup as we did on September 11, 1973 in Chile. Thus the Iraq War is protecting at least one part of the world from terrorism.

This argument, of course, depends upon a utilitarian calculus, namely the assumption that it is better to slaughter and brutalize the comparatively few in Iraq than the comparatively many in Latin America. If you factor in Afghanistan, this utilitarian calculus may well founder. But a rapacious country like the U.S. needs to get its yahs-yahs out somewhere, and as a Catholic I would have to say that if my country of hormonally deranged fratboys can't control itself, I would rather it fuck the Muslim Middle East than Catholic Latin America.

Don't get me wrong, though. I am all for abstinence. But the experts at Planned Parenthood tell me that abstinence does not work. Fine. Let's fuck Iraq, then.

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