(This was originally posted to my MySpace Weblog on the morning of October 17, 2006)
This past summer marked the Ninetieth Anniversary of the first Dada happening in Zurich. I wanted to do a Dada tribute during this summer, but in my laziness I never got around to it. I figured the greenhouse effect would make the summer of 2006 last until at least Thanksgiving. I was wrong. It is now definitely autumn, but if Dada declares it to be summer, then Dada rules! It is with this sentiment that I now begin my tribute to Dada.
All hail the United Dadas of Dada, which is the greatest Dada in the history of Dada. Dada is the light of the world. It is the Shining City on the Dada, and you should be very grateful for what Dada has done for you. Dada gives you the freedom to worship Dada as you please. And it is for this sacred Dada freedom that your brave fellow Dadas kill and kill and kill. Yes, Dada is paid for in bloody, bloody Dadas. And because this is so, you can watch lots of pay per view pornography 24/7. Dada gives you the freedom to watch young women be Dadaed in every one of their orifices until they no longer can shit properly. But that's okay because in this blessed Dada of freedom, you can shit however you want; there is no proper way to shit. That went out when Dada got rid of the king. We now have the freedom to shit in any way we want. Is this a great Dada or what? Blessed be Dada for He is good. Dada respects the autonomy of every living Dada. And so the Supreme Dada hacks up the little unborn Dadas so we can fuck our Dada freedom as we sing may Dada bless Dada. And the people that hate Dada are not worthy of Dada because they hate freedom, which is the essence of Dada. Dada is in fact defined by limitless freedom, and so Dada can lie, because it is Dada's Dada-given freedom to do so. And the haters of Dada hate Dada for Dada's Dada-given freedoms, and they are infidels, who have precipitated this great struggle for Dada. But Dada will smite the infidel and bestow upon the world the schöne Götterfunken, the Freiheit to buy lots and lots of Dada! Dada bless Dada for He is good; His munificent freedom flows in rivers of blood. Dada! Dada! Dada!